12/16/2004 Entry: "Christmas Junk: Favor Treats!"

The Advent Calendar has been updated, though I ran out of time before getting the latest Advert up, so expect two of those tonight. Maybe. Meanwhile, checkee be dis:

Ten Christmas Favor Treats! Found this one at our nearest party store on the hunt for cheap gift boxes, amidst a rack of such other classic stocking stuffers as holographic snowman stickers and “Doodolph,” a plastic reindeer who shits out brown jelly beans. You’ll probably see both on here at some point during the next week. The Favor Treats consist of small, crappy toys (think 5-pointers at a casino arcade) that aren’t worth jack to anyone singularily, but become so fascinating and beautiful when packed by the bunch and stuffed into little plastic-wrapped “poppers.” At four bucks for ten “treats,” it’s an arguably inexpensive way to deliver happy fun times to the smallest nooks and crannies of whatever stockings you must fill. The version shown above is for boys, but don’t cry, fairer sex: there’s a girl version too, filled with pink whistles and shiny hairclips. Here’s what us strapping males get…

Each magical tube (wrapped in festive plastic with red twisties on each end) is filled with at one or more toys, and the assortment is nothing short of what-the-fuck. Tiny toy trucks, lime space aliens, kaleidoscopes, and a nice lot of well-detailed rubber animals, like spiders, snakes and my personal favorite: FROGS. The frogs in particular are like-life, so much so that I’m still not entirely sure I haven’t been blessed with real frogs real cheap that just don’t move around that much.

GRADE: 8 Maids A Milking.

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 12/16/2004 12:20 PM EST

Waiterbot is an "utrom" which is a character from the new TMNT cartoon. I bought the guy a while ago with the hopes that somehow it would turn out to be krang, or at least one of krangs species. But no luck. It is just an Utrom. Kickass figure though, i highly recommend picking one up, they are still in stores.

Chestnuts roasted by KillaHill @ 12/16/2004 12:23 PM EST

Well thanks KillaHill! I haven't watched the new TMNT, I stick to da old school. Word.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 12/16/2004 12:45 PM EST

At work today, they came around and gave everyone 12-packs of Pepsi Holiday Spice. Everyone tried them, and needless to say I now have my 12-pack as well as four others from people who didn't like them. Now I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with them. Built a 12-pack Holiday-type Berlin Wall in my cube? Take out all the cans and make a giant tree pyramid, with lights and balls?

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 12/16/2004 01:06 PM EST

Poor them down the shiters and get the deposit back from the cans. Pepsi never got the whole holiday thing.

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 12/16/2004 01:30 PM EST

not sure if you have a Hot Topic near you or not, but they have free gift boxes. Just tell them you bought stuff last time and were not given any. If you act nice, odds are they'll give you what you need.

Chestnuts roasted by Transformers @ 12/16/2004 01:44 PM EST

Use em to wax the floor. I swear those Pepsi cans have Pine-Sol in them. Or at least they taste like they do.

Chestnuts roasted by KillaHill @ 12/16/2004 01:54 PM EST

ooh! Ooh! Go for the Shiny Can christmas tree! Put thousands of lights on it, too.!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/16/2004 02:09 PM EST

Utroms are Krang's species. For the 80's kid-f(r)iendly toon, the Utroms were bastardized into the burbling brain-dude we know and love. In actuallity, the current TMNT show is indeed Ol'skool. CBS' Turtles are the SuperFriends compared to Fox's Justice League, comparitvely speaking. (Next Mutation notwithstanding)

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/16/2004 02:52 PM EST

Kingklash, wow! How did you find out that the Utroms are krangs species? Do you think there will be a Krang eventually? I have been watching the show, and there IS a bad utrom, but they have never called him krang.(to my knowledge) And Kk, if you watch the show, did you see where there was an Utrom in Shredder? The new show is kinda confusing if you dont keep up with it.(huge badass story arcs)

Chestnuts roasted by KillaHill @ 12/16/2004 03:03 PM EST

I have it on good authority that I'm getting the (new series) TMNT DVD boxset for X-Mas. Very excited. Every episode I've been able to catch has been awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/16/2004 03:12 PM EST

Boxset! Holy Crap! I had no idea there even was one. I have just been Tivo'ing the episodes, and i gotta say, i totally agree with you. The new series is badass. They even throw alot of adult humor in the series(things kids wouldnt normally get). On the episode that i was watching yesterday, mike actually said: "would it be too cliche if i said 'Cowabunga'?"....yeah, that did it. I'm hooked, all over again.

ps. Matt please please review the Utrom toy after Xmas.

Chestnuts roasted by KillaHill @ 12/16/2004 03:31 PM EST

As far as I can remember the turtles came out in 89. I'm going to be 28 in a couple of days and here everyone is talking about them. That's awesome.
Turtle power!

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 12/16/2004 03:42 PM EST

Don't forget that I'm relatively old. I had been hearing about the Turtles for a while before the first cartoon, seein' as how the whole thing started out as a independant comic book. Even then, the books were sort-of parodies of X-Men and DareDevil. The Foot/The Hand, Splinter Sensei/Stick, The chemicals that blinded Matt Murdock/are actually the same stuff that mutated Splinter and the Turtles. Although I wouldn't mind them sneaking in Venus from Next Mutation into the new cartoon. Great Gallifrey, I'm not just old and a geek, I'm an Old Geek!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/16/2004 03:50 PM EST

C'mon king spill the beans.. how many moons have you seen?

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 12/16/2004 03:57 PM EST

These are my favorite types of articles. I fondly remember those cheap plastic toys we've all begged our mothers to buy for us at the grocery store.

Reminds me of my favorites from this site -- Matt's review of the farm playset. Best line ever: "Farm animal farm playset from farmland farm farmy."

Chestnuts roasted by IcyHotStunta @ 12/16/2004 04:09 PM EST

Are my brother and I the only people on this planet that likes Pepsi Holiday Spice? All it is Pepsi with some cinnamon and ginger (saw a taste test on the news where they said what's in it).

You know what is REALLY good? McD's Eggnog milkshake. I love eggnog.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 12/16/2004 04:13 PM EST

35 as of Nov. 1st. And yes, the 70's were all you heard it was.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/16/2004 04:44 PM EST

I think there might be a pinch or two of nutmeg in that holiday spice. Mixes well with rye.
It don't matter what decade anyone was brought up in.. as long anyone can remember their childhood and the fond memories they bring there will always be places like X-E (although not as much fun as X-E).
I wonder what the 60's were like?

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 12/16/2004 05:51 PM EST

JLAJRC, uhh... milkshake = shit in a cup. With eggnog. Ha. I am so funny!

Chestnuts roasted by Tom no like @ 12/16/2004 06:03 PM EST

I don't know how this turned into a Turtle discussion, but if God cares at all about Ninja Turtles, Venus will never be seen again!

http://www.ninjaturtles.com

The official Turtles homepage. You can read up on their entire history, and the very first issue is online in its entirety. You can see the origins of Shredder, the Utrom, April, the Fugitoid, and your other favorites.

And go good Mare and the...as a mild Star Wars fan, I can't believe I'm rooting for Stormtroopers! R2 and 3PO I could believe.

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Reindeer @ 12/16/2004 06:09 PM EST

the kitty has its own plot, I think.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/16/2004 06:50 PM EST

First of all, I LIKE the Holiday Spice (at least I hope I do - I've certainly drank enough of it since it's been on sale at work for weeks). It tastes like Pepsi with a cinnamon stick. Nothing harmful.

Glad to see a new player in the Playmobil saga could be giving Waiterbot a new outlook. This reminds me of the stories my sisters and I used to come up with when I was a kid and would put together every toy we owned, from "Star Wars" action figures to stuffed animals that could probably sit on them. It's far more twisted then anything we ever came up with, though.

Ah, yes, the "stocking stuffers" bring back memories. Not that we ever got stuff like that in our stockings, but up until my mid-teens, that was the only shit I could ever manage to win at the Arcades. Even now, I have that kind of stuff in various crevices and drawers in my apartment, or have given it to my brother, or have it in crevices to eventually give to my brother.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 12/16/2004 08:23 PM EST

Thanks for Holiday music and some stuff to read while I put in over time baby sitting computers...

Chestnuts roasted by LordSorrow @ 12/16/2004 08:38 PM EST

Umm...well...there are three people that i shall hate with a passion this Christmas. Here they are in a ranking order:
3. Penny Marshall
2. Claire Winningham
1. Rosie O'Donnell (whom I have always hated, annd will continue to hate after this Christmas)

Thanks a lot, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/16/2004 09:54 PM EST

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeee! Well, actually, it's almost over- less than 1 hour to go. I'm 26- man, I'm on the downslope towards 30.

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 12/16/2004 11:20 PM EST

It looks like you stole from the toy bucket at the dentist.

Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 12/16/2004 11:41 PM EST

While Christmas shopping tonight I found the BEST store ever at the mall... a second-hand Christmas-land where all the tacky ornaments and yard decorations of yore are recycled into a feast of bad yuletide taste. I could see this as a booth at a flea market but at the mall... well, it was just puzzling.

How bad were the second-hand items? One ornament I immediately recognized as the freebie metal tree stuck to the December issue of Reader's Digest cicrca 1987.

Chestnuts roasted by Law Girl @ 12/17/2004 12:46 AM EST

Krang did appear in the new series in a cameo. The Utroms had to pile out of their robot-bodies for some reason I can't recall and one of them says in a somewhat fammiliar voice: "Ohhh... I HATE walking on my tentacles!", then the Utrom in front of him turns around and says "Shut up Krang!"

Even though the new cartoon is truer to the comic, and more melodramatic than anything I'd watch as a kid, I say it's sillier than shit...
Examples: Splinter learned martial arts when he was just an ordinary rat and some plotlines look like they solely existed to sell toys...

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 12/17/2004 01:16 AM EST

RewolfJ- Whoever said that the original comic wasn't silly? As intended for adults as it was, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird still intended it as purely a joke. They had no idea it was even going to make it this far.

As for Splinter learning martial arts as a rat, that's totally true to the comic. Like I said, the comic WAS silly. It's not just this particular series.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/17/2004 01:29 AM EST

Plotlines in TMNT usually exist to sell toys... And Splinter learned Martial arts as a rat in the TMNT movie, too.

And that's Awesome about the Krang cameo! Nice touch for us old-timers.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/17/2004 01:30 AM EST

I got the cat version of Doodolph for Halloween. The cat has a look of relieved ecstasy on his face. So. Funny.

Chestnuts roasted by heidi @ 12/17/2004 01:48 AM EST

Mare and Team Good look like they're headed toward victory, but we shouldn't count all their chickens before they hatch. After all, Mare and the gang still have a job to do, and it ain't over till it's over. So stay tuned for the next X-E Advent Calendar 2004!

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/17/2004 05:33 AM EST

Mmm, TMNT toys. The new ones are a'right. I prefer the old school, but you know, multi-arm glow in the dark swords Shredder can simply not be "un-cool". Word. Most of the line is pretty tight, mostly because I bought and continue to buy them ALL. Ugh.

Dude, most of those cheap plastic toys look as if they are getting way too friendly with one another.

!!

Chestnuts roasted by big lounging @ 12/17/2004 08:22 AM EST

Matt-when you click the advent calendar hyperlink at the top of the blog, it takes you back to the homepage. Just letting you know.
I haven't seen any of the new TMNT shows, I'll have to check them out.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 12/17/2004 09:42 AM EST

I loved the old skool TMNT cartoon, but this one is good, too. I'm glad they're still on tv! It's nice to see some cartoon characters you know and love, not like Yu-Gi-Oh and all that shit. Although, the old skool cartoon had a much more kick-ass theme song at the beginning! I'm pretty jealous Matt may be getting that box set.

I hope that after Kitty eats that super cat food, Matt uses an old Battle Cat action figure for the 'after' effect.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 12/17/2004 10:20 AM EST

another vote for the Pepsi Holiday Spice. its kind of different. i wish they made diet holiday spice.

so i was coveting my own Playmobil advent calandar, and ordered one. it arrived the other day and i almost cried. you have to put the thing together yourself! so its kind of a let down if you are expecting surprise. but then i realized that i'm a grownup. which almost made me cry again.

anyway, i'm very curious to know what Matt's going to do with the rest of it.

Chestnuts roasted by v00deux @ 12/17/2004 10:37 AM EST

I don't dislike Pepsi Holiday Spice. I have never been a big fan of Pepsi so that could be the reason.

Every episode of the new Turtles I have watched I love. I was wondering when they were going to do the show more like the Comics. The original comics were quite dark and the ol' skool episodes (which I also loved)just seemed so happy compaired to the darkness of the comics.

The movie (first one) was as close to the comics in atmosphere as they could get.

The Utroms at least in the comics were the ones responsible for the pouring of mutagen in the sewers that caused the turtles to mutate. It was just a car accident or similar thing that caused a canister to spill.

That could have all changed mind you 8-).

Matt I really like your website. It has given me hours of entertainment at work.

I would have to disagree with IcyHotStunta because I believe the best article was when your reviewed the bad guys of Super Mario Bros. The stuff about the red koopa troopa was some of your best work Matt.

The kitty has its own plan. My guess is wait until Einstein feeds it super food. It will grow up to Shere Khan and go kill everybody. Because everybody knows Shere Khan is the shit

Chestnuts roasted by Merlinmk @ 12/17/2004 01:50 PM EST

this is like kool i guess

Chestnuts roasted by harry hunt (say really fast) @ 12/18/2004 09:22 PM EST

LOVE this web site! Tons of hours at work have been wasted by me here. Thanks!
The new TMNT toon is GREAT! Love the little "nods" they give to grown-ups. Was watching one earlier episode with the Utroms in their suits, and they were talking about how they had to go shower because one touched one of the "aliens". One of them asked, "Who touched one?" The other Utrom said, "Newman..." Good nod to Seinfield.
Also, when the Turtles got abducted by the Triceratons (a whole clan, not just one guy now), they stole their weapons so they had to use stuff they found. Ralph used spoons and used the Tick's battlecry of "SPOON!" as he was attacking!
*sigh* Good times...good times...

Chestnuts roasted by Flibbity Jibbid @ 12/20/2004 12:18 PM EST