02/13/2005 Entry: "Valentine's Day"

Happy Valentine's Day, peoples. A rose is just a rose, except today, when they cost as much as cars. As the alleged holiday falls on a weekday this year, I look forward to seeing how many coworkers return from their lunch breaks looking exhausted and carrying bouquets of better-than-nothing carnations.

I bought a huge bag of old Valentine's cards and was planning to review 'em this weekend, but knowing that the article would have a shelf life of five minutes sent me in a different direction, so expect a new feature that has nothing to do with love sometime this week. It's a tricky one to put together, but I'm over the hump and it shouldn't be long now. If you were hoping for romance, click here for last year's article on Valentine's Day cards from the `80s. Or, check back tomorrow for another quick little V-day ditty.

I get strange e-mail, sometimes from Hong Kong: "Dear sir/madam,I am come for Hong Kong. I would like to ask is there any petster, the robert cat foe selland how much does it cost.I would be glad if I can received your reply. Thanks alot." A woman apparently named "Sum" sent this in. I think Sum should be my valentine.

Also, I have this vague recollection of seeing parts of that Trekkies documentary while at a friend's house last night. It's pretty interesting stuff, actually. I'm way geeky obsessive, so I can only imagine how normal people would react to seeing these insanely devoted Star Trek nuts live, breathe and shit Kirk. It was also so strange to see people who by common judgment must be considered really screwy make such compelling arguments for being screwy. Like, on one hand, this middle aged woman who was completely obsessed with Brent Spiner was probably crazy, but seemed so genuine and sweet that you couldn't help liking her anyway. At least, until she brought up how she could see the hill Spiner's house was behind from her apartment balcony, which she frequently visits to have quiet "Spiner sessions." Totally worth seeing even if you know nothing of Trek.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 02/13/2005 11:09 PM EST

I just started seeing this girl - and therefore just going to give her a call and/or a smooch tomorrow. Anything more would seem a bit strong.

Much cheaper than what florists are charging all those poor saps.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff Mack @ 02/13/2005 11:20 PM EST

I got my girl a digital camera. It wont die in a few days and costs about the same as 2 dozen red roses. Thanks for the site Matt, I enjoy every new and old article.

Chestnuts roasted by Scott @ 02/13/2005 11:25 PM EST

I can't think of the phrase "St. Valentine's Day" without including the word "massacre" at the end of it. Word association's cool. So is Brent Spiner, for that matter.

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 02/13/2005 11:36 PM EST

blasted college. seeing that darkwing duck one made me really depressed. elementary school valentines day was SO awesome. getting ultra candy and sometimes a legit x-men card in your bag. i also remember the bag smelling really good because it was impregnated with necco sweethearts :..(

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 02/13/2005 11:41 PM EST

Gawd, this just made me remember that I STILL have all of my valentines from elementary school. Am I a packrat? Hell yes!

Other than working at TRU, I have been working at a flower shop (again. I used to work at one before TRU) and can honestly say that it has been VERY slow this year, with the flowers. Boss-lady isn't very happy. Dozens of beautiful red roses all ready to go, just sitting in the cooler, slowly blowing open... -sigh- But, for $65 a pop, we sure aren't the cheapest in town.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 02/13/2005 11:52 PM EST

Hi Everyone!

Valentine's Day is ususally kinda sad for me because I'm tragically single.

But, at least all the cartoons have good V-Day episodes (Jimmy Neutron's being the best), so I've got that, at least.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY!

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 02/14/2005 12:07 AM EST

I'm also tragically single on Valentines day, so I try to associate the day more with my fraternity, which was chartered at my school on Feb. 14th, 1948.

Of course, it doesn't help that the Men's Choir I am in is doing Singing Valentines around campus tomorrow...

Oh well, Happy V-day.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 02/14/2005 12:24 AM EST

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hope everyone is with their special someone or about to meet them.

Going in for an ultrasound today. Might be able to tell the sex...

What was it again trajeal, turtle or hot dog bun? Pray for the turtle!

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by EMajorwitz @ 02/14/2005 12:25 AM EST

Well, my ex(about the 47th time my ex) is coming to my house for a week, and I gots her nuttin', though she got me sumpin'. Must want me back. Man, I'm awexome. But anyway, I'm totally V-ing it up with cartoons. YTV, Fox, PBS, I'll find it all. And she'll like it! We have the same name...

Chestnuts roasted by Armagideon Time @ 02/14/2005 12:26 AM EST

Ah Trekkies. That mullet sprouting teen has lots of disappointment to look forward to. Not only is trapped hanging out with people stuck in the 60s, but he's got suuuuuuuuuch an annoying voice not to mention the fact that he tries to sound intelligent but still mispronounces words like debacle. I always hated those kids when I was in high school....plus the kid has a freakin' MULLET. GAWD I just wanted to put him out of his misery!

13th or 14th post!!!! Look at me I'm cool!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Zdubs @ 02/14/2005 01:05 AM EST

I choo-choo-choose you!

Chestnuts roasted by marioshoku @ 02/14/2005 01:11 AM EST

Beer lots of beer lots of beer lots of beer.

Makes valentines go better. At least for me.

Chestnuts roasted by Bubba @ 02/14/2005 01:11 AM EST

Hey Matt, I know it's been over a year, but what exactly did Raphael say on that valentine that was so offensive you couldn't show it? Everytime I read that article, I can't stop giggling when I come to "penis-tration." Tell me what dirty things he really said!

Chestnuts roasted by Evan @ 02/14/2005 01:46 AM EST

Am I nuts to say I would love the new article on the second set of old valentines? The retro stuff rocks all and I love the valentine's stuff. Brings back memories and makes me chuckle all at the same time.

Chestnuts roasted by Robert Poole, Jr. @ 02/14/2005 02:23 AM EST

trekkies is classic...

as to Gabriel, the mullet kid from trekkies...there is a sequel out simply called trekkies 2. not sure if it's as unintentionaly funny as the first, but it does have updates with a few of the favorites from the first documentary. blockbuster doesn't carry this film so i haven't gotten to see it yet...

Chestnuts roasted by the dark soldia @ 02/14/2005 03:58 AM EST

Let's "bee" friends! And it has a bee on it!!!!

So, what's the craziest/most expensive thing anyone has done for thier Valentine? For me, the answer to both questions is I moved to Germany for her. Ok...so she is my fiancee...and I didn't do it just for Valentines...but hey, its gotta count for something. I mean, it's not Spiner good, but maybe Levar Burton good...?

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 02/14/2005 05:13 AM EST

wow. i just noticed that Captain Planet has a mullet. screw 'the power is YOURS!' the power is in that mullet.

Chestnuts roasted by jokun @ 02/14/2005 09:27 AM EST

Todays forecast is cloudy with a 90% chance of rain with a single adults can still be content making valentine boxes out of heart shaped beads and pipe cleaners advisory. Happy Val-ee-tines day everyone!

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 02/14/2005 10:05 AM EST

Evan! I'm with you - I wanna know what was on that valentine! Must know... Please, Matt?

-sigh- I did meet someone on Saturday, and am waiting to see if it develops into anything. (It does look hopeful!) My friend and his sister are conspiring to somehow get us together... he's really shy.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 02/14/2005 10:19 AM EST

I think I had one of those Darkwing Duck cards...

Chestnuts roasted by JG! @ 02/14/2005 12:07 PM EST

For V-day my hubby and I are doing the Mcds for dinner thing, then the exchange of cards! He tells me all he wants from me for V-day is for me to "buck the establishment" with him, and not buy into all the Hallmark crapolla!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 02/14/2005 12:12 PM EST

You're going to McD for V-day? That's pretty awesome, actually.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/14/2005 12:20 PM EST

Happy V-day and all that crap . . .

I saw the Fantastic Four movie trailer this weekend and hoe-leeeeeee-crapsticks does it look awful. Even more troubling is that according to the trailer, the FF went into outerspace with Victor Von Doom (Doctor Doom) and the FIVE of them TOGETHER were infected with the Gamma Rays and attained their powers (with Doctor Doom choosing the evil route and the FF choosing good.) WTF? Why mess with the characters' origins?

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 02/14/2005 01:11 PM EST

Brent Spinner was always my favourite actor...atleast from Star Trek anyway. He was Commander Data right?

Well anyway, happy V-day to all the lonely and unlonely people out there.

Chestnuts roasted by Well @ 02/14/2005 03:01 PM EST

I saw this Friday on G4TechTV's Screen Savers and thought it might be addictive fun for some here:
http://www.ageoftime.com/blockland/

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 02/14/2005 03:02 PM EST

I'm guessing Captain Planet and Darkwing Duck were two of the valentine hauls you bought. What were the others?

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 02/14/2005 03:39 PM EST

Speaking of Trekkies, which I found funny and interesting as well (people with odd obsessions are fascinating), I saw a double pack at Best Buy this weekend and apparently they made a Trekkies 2. Probably more of the same, but it might be good.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 02/14/2005 04:12 PM EST

February 13th is my birthday. This year it was remarkably unremarkable, and my present didn't even arrive on time. Hopefully be here today [Tuesday] sometime. Galaxy Force Master Megatron, mmm.. *salivates*
I made an effort with Valentine's Day, went out and got a card and sent it off and everything. I know it won't arrive on time, but a belated thought is better than none. Right? >.>

Chestnuts roasted by onslaught86 @ 02/14/2005 04:24 PM EST

Oh, and I sent toys and a special rock. 'Cause everyone loves toys. Or at least, anyone worth knowing.

Chestnuts roasted by onslaught86 @ 02/14/2005 04:26 PM EST

I stopped long ago celebrating V-Day because my gf thought it was just too commercial...
it was a horrible trauma for me, since my entire life is too commercial, but every year I secretly shove heart-shaped chocolates in my mouth as a way to soothe my poor soul...

someone said V-Day was a couple's day...Well I think it can still be a one-person-thing if you have the right amount of chocolate!

Chestnuts roasted by melonian @ 02/14/2005 04:30 PM EST

"better-than-nothing carnations."

It's funny because it's true.
V-day in the Manimal's lair: Got Mrs. Manimal some of our discontinued wedding stemware (the glasses for those who don't know the terminology. I was once like you) and Japanese take-out (?).

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 02/14/2005 05:29 PM EST

Valentine's Day is no big deal for me, either, as I am also single. I'll just do what other singles do - drown myself in half-priced chocolate the day after. I spent most of today doing such unromantic things as cleaning the kitchen, but I did watch the black-and-white Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy comedy "Woman of the Year" later.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 02/14/2005 06:07 PM EST

http://whatishappeningtome.blogspot.com/

Unrelated to the subject, but pretty weird. I don't know whether the guy has a phsycological disorder or is is really a werewolf. Hey, it could happen.

Anyway, I don't celebrate Valentines Day because I have no social life whatsoever outside of here and Rare-Extreme.com. On a lighter note, I went to my local 99 cents Only store (I only go there for the cheap prices on brand-name candy) and, I found some new Heart Peeps. Basically, they are Marshmallow estacy. Try em, theyre good.

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 02/14/2005 07:16 PM EST

Baron Von Blubba is my Valentine. We are going to knock boots allllllll night

Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 02/14/2005 08:15 PM EST

He just might be. They say the Vampire and Werewolf populations in this country are surprisingly high. But, this could also just be a running gag.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 02/14/2005 08:19 PM EST

I'm going to throw PAPER on the GROUND! Mwa ha ha ha!

Chestnuts roasted by Captain Planet Villain @ 02/14/2005 09:33 PM EST

My final year of college, we had a "f%^& valentine's day" party for those of us within our group who were single. Not a bad idea, mostly involved the consumption of a bunch of alcohol and meaningless flirting with the other singles.

Would have worked out great if one of the "coupled" members of our group of friends didn't show up halfway through with her boyfriend and her new engagement ring. Then it was more of a "f' people who don't understand the point of f' valentine's day" party. Like she couldn't have waited till the next day to tell everyone and show off, she had to crash our already bitter little party.

My boyfriend and I are doing a big fat zero this year for v-day, and I'm fine with it. We were considering going out for dinner, but decided it would be less busy tomorrow. We're such romantics!

Chestnuts roasted by maglizrd @ 02/14/2005 09:34 PM EST

It's not really VD-related, but I read this comic and thought of X-E.

http://www.somethingpositive.net/arch/frictionfigures.gif

Chestnuts roasted by marchant @ 02/15/2005 02:02 AM EST

Seth Green's stop-motion action figure show, Robot Chicken, starts Sunday on Adult Swim.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 02/15/2005 02:51 AM EST

WHY aren't you doing a review on those cards, Matt!?! That kinda stuff is what I rmember best about Valentine's Day. Oh yeah, and candy.

I remember giving out those TMNT Valentine cards in the third grade. I luv'd 'em, and so did those who received them.

I sit here, completely depressed that I didn't run into this particular girl yesterday. I wanted to talk to her, and I was planning on giving her my phone and room numbers. The last time I saw her, I told her to stop by my room sometime. She asked me what my room number was, but we didn't have any paper on us. She told me to tell her the next time she had paper with her. Damn. Oh well. I'll try and run into her tonight, ask her how her VD was, give her my contact info, and maybe ask for hers.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 02/15/2005 10:11 AM EST

Nate,

Ask her how her VD was? I hope she wasn't having a flare-up. I hear some of those diseases can be nasty.

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 02/15/2005 10:32 AM EST

Har Har, good one Pedro. You get my vote!

It's a brand new day! Sing it, you know you want to. One time I was housesitting and I found bottles of Valtrex in the med. cabinet. I was upset, and kind of nervous too.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 02/15/2005 10:59 AM EST

Any Valentine's card with a picture of a guy with a green mullet is OK in my book.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 02/15/2005 08:52 PM EST

Hey, anyone want to see the Transformers Valentine's Day card my parents gave me in 1985, when I was 10?

Look here!

Just kidding. That's a Valentine's card from the most recent Transformers series, Transformers: Energon, which my parents gave their now 30 year old son yesterday. (Well, they have a sense of humour, and I like this stuff anyway.)

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 02/15/2005 10:14 PM EST

Lavar Burton gives me the warm fuzzies.

Still, Shatner was in the *fantastic* film "Incubus". There are two films out by that title, to my knowledge. The one I'm talking about is in ESPERANTO (a made up language based on the latin system evident in many of the European ones out there today...). Yeah. I know. Shatty at his best. For best viewing pleasure, take turns reading the subtitles aloud and putting the word "naked" at the end of each sentence. Especially good for the sentences that end in "naked" anyway.

My better half gave me a half dozen roses that look like at least 3 dozen because each stem has like 4 flowers. I made him a card involving my chest. Pretty low key. Not as cool as a Captain Planet valentine, I'll have to save that for next year...

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 02/15/2005 10:27 PM EST

Almost missed Neutron's V-Day special. That was a close one!

Matt, if you ever enounter JN's writer's while working at Nickelodeon, mention that we need more episodes like that one.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 02/15/2005 10:38 PM EST

50th ....not too shabby. $50 is well worth avoiding the uncomfortable weeks worth of sleep on the couch

Chestnuts roasted by primusboy @ 02/16/2005 12:23 AM EST

http://www.disgruntledwear.net/

Chestnuts roasted by disgruntledwear @ 02/16/2005 05:32 AM EST

Holy Shit- CAPTAIN PLANET! Just the other night, at 5:30 AM, my boyfriend and I dicovered that Captain Planet is on TV here in Korea at that time- so, we didn't make it to bed until 6- then, I pop on here and Matt has posted a Captain Planet Valentine! Yay!

Didn't do much for V Day- went to a DVD room (its like a private movie theater for 2 people- huge screen, surround sound and big leather couch-very popular on Korean dates) and watched "The Terminal"- not bad.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 02/16/2005 09:48 AM EST

Muppet Baby,

That DVD room sounds a bit icky to me. Maybe my mind's in the wrong place (which is altogether possible), but wouldn't you think there may be some remnants left from past, er, "moviegoers" on that couch. Do they have a pull down piece of paper to tear off like the examining table at the doctor's office. Eeewwww.

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 02/16/2005 02:14 PM EST

Captain Planet sucks! I mean, the whole environmentalist's concept was retarded. Besides, it had more to do with those annoying, ugly-T-shirt-wearing planeteers than it did with Captain Planet. Lets face it. The average episode was about 20 minutes long, and fifteen of those minutes didn't have a trace of Captain Planet. It wasn't until about the last 3-5 minutes that Captain Planet entered the picture to clear it all up. In other words, at the very end, the planeteers finally decided they were pussies and let their powers combine to make Captain Planet. Why the fuck didn't they just do that at the beginning of the whole damn episode?!

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 02/16/2005 04:23 PM EST

Nate, it's the same concept behind Voltron, m'man. They made Captain Planet the Voltron of the Environmental movement. Yes, I agree, it certainly was a shitty (and somewhat bizarre) attempt to capitalize on the popularity of Voltron, but it also teaches us the power of teamwork, that individually we cannot change the environment, but together we can. Ah, who am I kidding, Captain Planet sucked ass, bottom line.

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 02/16/2005 06:46 PM EST

oh for the love of god...somebody call matt's bosses and tell them he's been cheating with their wifes or husbands, if needed. Get him fired, make his life miserable so he has time to write...

I know it's a selfish thing, but look at it this way. Many people would be happy about this and only matt would be mad about it. So I guess it's an opportunity to make people some good. The means and matt's job seem mere casualties to me...huh?

Chestnuts roasted by melonian @ 02/16/2005 07:19 PM EST

Don't you worry! I come and go, but eventually I'll always come.

Here's to hoping Val Venis didn't say it first.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/16/2005 07:26 PM EST

Pedro-Yep, it did. At least Voltron didn't have this whole cheesy environmental message to it.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 02/16/2005 08:52 PM EST

And Voltron couldn't be taken down by a light oiling. Also: Pidge

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 02/16/2005 09:24 PM EST

Let me rephrase that last part as it counts as HTML... Pidge sucks more than anything, but Heart power sucks worse than Pidge.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 02/16/2005 09:26 PM EST

thank god...there's still hope!!!

*boys, stop the blackmailing...he'll be ok soon*

Chestnuts roasted by melonian @ 02/16/2005 09:45 PM EST

Hey you guys stop making fun of me. At least I'm not a gelatonous blob that had the audacity to call himself "Hunk".

Chestnuts roasted by Pidge @ 02/16/2005 10:20 PM EST

Hoo! The wrestling reference went right over my head, but that double-entendre sure didn't. My goodness.
I only recently started watching and loving Neutron after noticing the coach's "Lindbergh Elementary: NO BABIES" shirt. Not quite a funny as the "Attica!" Pacino reference on Spongebob, but twice as inappropriate. I didn't catch the Valentine ep, though, anybody know if there'll be another repeat?

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/16/2005 11:09 PM EST

Not sure, but I think that "smell that fills you with holiday cheer" is melted plastic. It gets freaking hot up there.

Chestnuts roasted by springsprite @ 02/17/2005 09:02 PM EST

(Sorry, that was for the petster page.)

Chestnuts roasted by springsprite @ 02/17/2005 09:04 PM EST

Trekkies 2 is more of the same, but this time they ask: "What are Trek fans like overseas? What are they like in Europe? What about Australia and South America?"

It took 90 minutes to show us that they're exactly the same.

They do follow up with all the more prominent characters from the first Trekkies. You'll be happy to know that Gabe lost the mullet and found a wife (at the ripe old age of 21). Trekkies 2 was filmed seven years after the first, so it was kinda cool to see.

All in all, it made me embarrassed to be a fan. They all talked about how it is so hard to be a Trek fan when there is such a taboo out there. Well, that really struck me as funny since THEY ARE THE TABOO. They make it hard for the rest of us.

I know, I know. It's a free country. To each his own and such. I know. But still.

Chestnuts roasted by G'Noose @ 03/03/2005 05:07 PM EST