I'm digging this laptop. It's increasing my productivity. And since I bought a swank laptop bag to carry it around in, it's increasing my sex appeal. It's also increasing the number of updates to X-E's often forgotten super-sections, proven by yesterday's Kool-Aid review and today's addition to the Cereal Prize Project, Group 016! Here's where I should be saying "booyah!"
Since working means you can't drown your sorrows on booze or drugs, I've had to settle for Toys 'R' Us runs. As I've said many times before, I'm no longer a collector in the sense most people mean. Just look at how many "YOU IDIOT THESE HAVE BEEN OUT FOR MONTHS" comments I got on the Star Wars Transformers entry a few feet down. Or maybe I'm just saying that because it's preferable to consider the fact that I've been buying toys on every lunch break a fluke. Then again, it just so happens that the world's biggest fucking toy store is the closest retail establishment to my building. If there was a Home Depot across the street, I'd have a million sawhorses instead. And that is my lead into KONG.
The sheer randomness of the set makes it X-E's official Toy of the Week, I guess. Winning bidders receive a "Celocimex," which is French for, "giant motherfucking mosquito bastard." There's also as "Scorpio-Pede," which is what happens when a giant scorpion fucks a hot giant centipede's brains out. Then there's "Arachno-Claw," a massive spider that apparently goes by its nickname because there's no way any parents were cool enough to name their kid "Arachno-Claw."
But, best of all are the tiny human figures. A white man and two of the natives. The whole set is completely out of scale, unless I'm mistaken and the giant bugs in King Kong really were the size of ocean liners. You've gotta feel bad for the white guy figure. Even if he narrowly escapes getting eaten by one of the three beasts, how can he trust the natives? Even honorable natives turn on their allies, because they can always just chalk it up to some unknown custom that you can't argue against. Other King Kong toys in this scale are two-packs featuring a Kong figure versus a creature, ranging from dinosaurs to a kickass giant piranha. I'm rooting for the crocodile.
By the time I pull myself off this couch, it will be Friday. That's my I Don't Want To Run Day.
REPLIES: 62 comments
I kind of know how you feel. There's an FYE and a Wal-Mart seconds from the Acme where I work, and the only things that have kept me from buying half their DVD inventories are working late (when all I want to do is get home) and a lack of funds. I have a birthday coming and need to birthday shop for my sister, so we'll see...
In the new cereal prize group, the squirting Captain rings the loudest bells. That's another one of those random small cereal prizes and Happy Meal toys we had so long, my little brother finally inherited many of them. We've all had countless superballs over the years as well, but Mom banned them strictly to outdoor play many years ago in fear we might actually break something.
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 03/30/2006 11:17 PM EST
you're doing a good job with the updates. Chin up, man.
Chestnuts roasted by Mike the Great @ 03/30/2006 11:19 PM EST
When I'm depressed, I go shopping at the closest store to my school...Wal Mart. So, of course, I have started a collection of EVERYTHING. I can't classify the junk I bought, none of which I have any use for. My most recent trip yielded an Episode II C-3PO action figure, a squeegee, a doormat, and an egg timer. I hated Episode II, and I have no windows, doors, or eggs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I had that Win Lose or Draw thing and I miss it more than anything in the world. Thanks for reminding me of the good times.
Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/30/2006 11:23 PM EST
Superballs may be the single greatest toy ever made, ever! They will outlive any of today's hot new super amazing do all toys. The reason I say that is because they're so simple. No strict rules to follow, no moving parts to break, they're cheap, and they require absolutely no skill to master. And best of all NO BATTERIES to run down just when the game gets good. My friends and I had a game at school we used to play which required at least one superball and anywhere from two to thirty- eight mindless 2nd to 5th grade boys. Here's how it worked, at my shool the boys bathroom had concrete walls. One person was stationed by the light switch and one was designated as the "superball superman". The rest of the players would be randomly scattered about the bathroom. The "superman" would throw the ball as hard as he possibly could at one of the concrete walls. The "lights" man would then immediately turn off the lights. The object of the game was ......well basically there was no object. You just had to wish that the ball, flying apporximately at warp speed 12, didn't hit you anywhere you didn't want it to, namely in your superballs. Good times people, good times. I suggest you all try this the next time you're in the john at work.
Chestnuts roasted by Fishstix @ 03/30/2006 11:49 PM EST
"Mouths that look like assholes" is my new favorite quote.
Chestnuts roasted by Rebecca @ 03/30/2006 11:51 PM EST
Awesome, Boglins! I would love to see them and MIMPs make a triumphant comeback sometime soon.
Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 03/31/2006 12:06 AM EST
LOL I think they look more like vagina dentata, but that's just picking nits.
The little anonymous humans are funny. I've been trying to resist getting the Kong with the dino jaw-breaking action because all the Kong and S. Bob crap I've been impulse buying lately is starting to pile up. 
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 03/31/2006 12:31 AM EST
Thank you for updates, I'm glad you have a laptop. I'm on mine now, "borrowing" WiFi from the neighbor.
Chestnuts roasted by Rosella @ 03/31/2006 12:40 AM EST
Oh my God I used to call them fresh from the oven but I'm so using 'two weeks out of the clam' from now on.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 03/31/2006 12:54 AM EST
Those King Kong toys are awesome. The only King Kong toys I have are the hands, which by the way suck compared the the Hulk and Thing hands. I want to get one of the bigger King Kongs, but they all look kind of dumb.
Out of curiosity Matt, do you have the Skull Island playset? Or the Skull Island book that I discovered when I was checking to make sure that I didn't make the playset up?
Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 03/31/2006 01:25 AM EST
Rosella: wish I had a neighbor to borrow Wi-Fi from; then I could finally play Mario Kart DS the way it was meant to be played.
Once the Revolution shows up, I'll HAVE to get some kind of wi-fi device....
Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 03/31/2006 02:29 AM EST
I WOULD join your creatures of skull island and be the seventh man, but I'm far too busy trying to be leader of my Amy Ape figure club...And let me tell you, it's a full time job trying to get members! You say the word "Congo" and people think you're talking about drug cartels. Nope...Just that dumb talking ape I so hate and adore.
Chestnuts roasted by TC Falcon @ 03/31/2006 07:13 AM EST
I think it's funny that the ad after the Boglin mask is "Look Sexy Naked."
I had that Win Lose or Draw pad. I had totally forgotten about it.
Does anyone else remember the smell of Superballs? It was weird and rubbery and probably caused cancer in us all, and every time I got one, I would be able to smell it from the next room for a few weeks.
Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 03/31/2006 07:58 AM EST
Could the official name for those things be "magic slate"? I had a "magic slate" and I don't know if that was the generic name or not, I just know we referred to them all as magic slates after that.
There was something about superballs that made me want to chew on them as a kid. I don't think I ever did (they were inevitably filthy), but it was quite the temptation. Anyone else?
Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 03/31/2006 09:13 AM EST
First to point out the Bangles reference, yay me.
As for Superball chewing, I absolutely did it and was about to raise the same question myself. Once I got bored with it, I always enjoyed biting it at the seam to split it into two halves that bounced in all sort of wacky directions. Especially the ones with stuff inside, like those little round cards with wrestlers' heads in the middle and whatnot - it is my duty to free Ted DiBiase from his rubber prison.
As far as digital watches, I don't think I had the Honeycomb one in particular, but for some reason I did have tons of the things, working or not. I just liked 'em. Having digital watches was some kind of status symbol. A really lame status symbol, perhaps, but I was always trying to hoard as many of them as I could possibly come across, as if they were gold nuggets.
Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 03/31/2006 09:25 AM EST
Speaking of Mattel, I just finished reading, MASTERING THE UNIVERSE: HE-MAN and the rise and fall of a billion dollar idea. I guess it was good. Ultimately, it did not say much of anything. I mean, I am glad I read it but it did not really tell the story of how it rose and how it fell. It did tell the story of who created He-Man (which was the real thesis of the book).
As to the collector's woes, I have just ran out of room. How much STAR WARS, MOTU, or SIMPSONS stuff does one actually need???
Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 03/31/2006 09:42 AM EST
Sorry, I forgot to ask if anyone else has read the book and wants to weigh in...
Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 03/31/2006 09:48 AM EST
You know, I don't remember most of the cereal prizes you've catalogued, but I did have one of those Cap'n Crunch squirters. Unfortunately, I didn't get the Cap'n, I got the Soggies one instead. Yeah, it was sort of like taking another spoonful, and having the cereal be soggy.
Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 03/31/2006 09:54 AM EST
definitely called MAGIC SLATES!!I thought they had disappeared until just recently I found one at a Ocean State Job Lot, called an "EDU-SLATE", for my son.
Chestnuts roasted by m @ 03/31/2006 10:24 AM EST
Anyone remember the little Disney Afternoon figures from some cereal? They had Scrooge McDuck, Baloo, Tummi from Gummi Bears, and Dale from Rescue Rangers? They were awesome, and I just won them on ebay, woo hoo.
Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 03/31/2006 10:37 AM EST
Matt-I almost got one of those creatures of Skull Island sets but the Target I was at didn't have Star Wars Transformers so I went to TRU and picked up a new transformer and a Godzilla Pack
Of Destuction instead. So now I have 10 different 3 inch Godzilla toys to play with.
Chestnuts roasted by mrjayberry @ 03/31/2006 10:57 AM EST
Lori: Yeah, well I did chew on Superballs, they tasted like they smelled, rubbery! Mmmmm.
Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 03/31/2006 11:06 AM EST
Tommy:
Boy, do I! I had sets of four or five characters from each show of the Gummi Bears, DuckTales, Chip N Dale, Tail Spin, and Darkwing. I may have had other shows, but none of them spark my memory. Those PVC figures and I had some good memories.
Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/31/2006 11:22 AM EST
Well, now you can have a Living-Room-Floor remake of "King Kong vs Godzilla." With a special guest appearance by the American Kaijuu, "Zilla", from the crap-on-toast 90's movie. Provided you have a Toho Gojira on hand, of course. Kong and Godzilla can kick Zilla in the crotch and steal his lunch money. Unless you don't have a Zilla, then it's straight to the Main Event.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/31/2006 12:26 PM EST
I'm glad that you're posting more regularly again.
To the comment above: I also love superballs, though I would have to say that the most revolutionary toy was the Commodore 64. Home Video Games... AWESOME! Atari, Nintendo, Sega, Microsoft, and Sony are all copycats.
Re: getting new toys while in your late 20's...
Do it until your wife stops you.
Chestnuts roasted by Dixon Deeper @ 03/31/2006 01:02 PM EST
I'M IN A PICKLE
Over at AICN they reported that Ice Age 2: Even Shitter Probably is showing a thirty second teaser for THE SIMPSONS MOVIE. Now, some people claim to have seen it and other refute it.
Should I go see Ice Age 2: Even Shitter Probably just for that awesome chance?
Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 03/31/2006 01:37 PM EST
I love superballs. The best were those ones with the frosted, milky-looking colors. They just have a better texture. Some of my greatest memories of high school were skipping class to play wall ball in the tiny courtyard off the side of the home ec building. The ground was paved with huge slabs of unfinished sandstone, so nobody could tell which way the ball was going to bounce once it hit the ground. And then we went and had ice cream. Hooray ice cream.
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 03/31/2006 01:43 PM EST
Ice Age 2 should actually be good. Of course, I liked the original, so if you don't, this won't change your mind.
I'll tell you what might REALLY stop you though. If you end up watching a reel that has a print of the Simpsons trailer, you'll also have to see the trailer for Garfield 2. AI CARUMBA!
Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 03/31/2006 02:16 PM EST
In my catholic grade school when I was in 5th grade I believe, we had this short-lived game called "Wally Ball". I believe this was a variant. A variant in the way of you would throw a tennis ball at the wall. The object of this game was to catch the ball after it bounced off the wall. If you missed, you had to run straight to the wall and touch it before another person picked it up whose "job" was to pick up the ball and chuck it at you before you touched said wall. I remember I touched the wall and some bastard kid nailed me with it anyway. This was also the last day of this pastime. The lunch ladies killed it. How many other totally uncoordinated dolts do we have here?
Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 03/31/2006 02:48 PM EST
Tommy, perhaps you could go see a movie that you actually like and attempt to sneak into Ice Age. Or, if you are like me and have an innate fear of doing anything remotely dishonest, you could hang around and ask someone who has just exited that movie if your glorious trailer was, in fact, shown.
Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 03/31/2006 03:10 PM EST
Tim...I went to Catholic School and we played the same game. Only in our neighborhood we called it "Suey" (short for Suicide I think).
Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 03/31/2006 03:30 PM EST
I am going to Ice Age as soon I get out of here. I am excited, mostly for the popcorn and Jr. Mints. But now Jedoc had me thinking Ice Cream. The movies are only an excuse to eat crap as far as I'm concerned.
Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 03/31/2006 03:43 PM EST
Matt- Welcome to the bug club. I was the 4th person to buy the Creatures of Skull Island set, now you are the 7th. Enjoy.
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 03/31/2006 04:00 PM EST
In my opinion, untill rumors of a Simpsons movie trailer are proven true, hold off on going to see the movie. I could see how someone from the studio that put Ice Age 2 out would start spreading rumors about something like this. It's a good way to trick people who would never pay to see Ice Age 2 out of their hard earned 9 bucks. Personally, I'd pay $9 to see just the trailer for The Simpsons movie but I wouldn't start heading for the theater untill I knew for sure.
Chestnuts roasted by Antenna Villain @ 03/31/2006 04:02 PM EST
The most revolutionary toy was the Commodore 64. Home Video Games... AWESOME! Atari, Nintendo, Sega, Microsoft, and Sony are all copycats.
Ah, but Atari's 2600 beat the C64 to market by about 5 years. Copycat, nay!
Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 03/31/2006 04:17 PM EST
If a Simpsons movie trailer has been released, I'm sure it will show up on the net soon.
Thing is, I thought that movie wasn't going to be released until the series ended, and The Simpsons just got two more seasons.
Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 03/31/2006 04:45 PM EST
Totally off topic, but I'm pretty depressed today. My best friend in Idaho (one of very few friends I have out here) moved away today. I'm happy for him, since he's going to a better job closer to home, but it still sucks. People are dropping like flies at work because the environment out there sucks so bad.
On topic, a Simpsons movie will be either be their greatest achievment (ala Transformers: The Movie) or total crap (ala Garfield: The Movie). What will be the Simpsons crossover fate? I can't wait to find out.
Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 03/31/2006 05:12 PM EST
Ok, so let me get this straight. There are people out there who don't like Ice Age?
Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 03/31/2006 05:16 PM EST
I think there are people out there who like Ice Age, but are concerned about its sequel quality.
A Simpsons movie is fitting, and I am sure it will be great, but it should be saved for the END of it all...like "Serenity" was for "firefly".
And about the last thread...we should all start an online petition to GET "THE WIZARD" PUT ON DVD! WITH EXTRAS TOO, DAMMIT! Drag Fred Savage, Christian Slater, Jenny Lewis, Luke Edwards and that kid who played "it's so bad" power glove loving "Lucas" into a studio for a reunion!
Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/31/2006 05:42 PM EST
I'm seeing Ice Age 2 this weekend. Looks good.
Speaking of a Simpsons movie, since the trend since to be making cartoons live action lately (Garfield, Fat Albert, Scooby Doo, etc) and that they did a live action opening last Sunday, who would you cast in a Live Action Simpsons movie?
My cast:
Homer- Jim Belushi
Marge- Jane Kasmerick
Bart- Youngest "Malcolm in the Middle" child.
Lisa- Dakota Fanning
Krusty- Tim Curry (has clown down pat)
Sideshow Bob- Kelsey Grammer (why mess with perfection?)
Mr. Burns- Patrick Stewart
Ned Flanders- Tom Selleck
Moe- Jon Cryer
Mrs. Krabbofel- Joan Cusack
Skinner- Brian Cranston
Barney- Kevin James
Chief Wiggum-John Goodman
Nelson- Kid from 2 1/2 Men
Patti/Selma- Mom from "War at Home"
Smithers- William Shatner
Willy the Groundskeeper- Rob Zombie
Bus Driver- Will Farrell in a cameo.
Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 03/31/2006 07:00 PM EST
Serenity is *not* the end of Firefly! Dash it all...it just can't be.
Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 03/31/2006 07:08 PM EST
Tim and Y2JB78:
I didn't go to catholic school, but I played that game (or a variation thereof) called Red-A. Basically the same rules, you threw a tennis ball at the wall and then ran to touch the wall after it hit. If someone else grabbed the ball and hit the wall with it before you did, you got a letter. If you fumbled or dropped the ball, you had to run for the wall before someone else grabbed the ball and hit the wall with it. If they hit the wall with the ball before you reached it, you got a letter. If you fumbled the ball and got hit with it, you got a letter. 6 letters and you were out. Good times, particularly since the games never lasted long enough to declare a winner.
Chestnuts roasted by DocDragon @ 03/31/2006 07:50 PM EST
Matt-I've seen toy-vending machines containing King Kong-related figurines and stuff. They'll probably run you about 50 cents to a buck (well, I'm not really sure how much they are in New York, but that's what they cost here in Sacramento). You might wanna keep your eyes peeled for such things.
Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 03/31/2006 08:53 PM EST
Well I hope your laptop works better for you than my new desktop. I just had everything all set-up perfect, went to the grocery store, came back, and the screen was dead. After 2 hours at the place I got the barebones from it appears the power supply blew and took the motherboard and CPU with it. And they don't have a motherboard to replace it with so I have to wait until one comes in on Tuesday. So I'm SOL til then. So much for the Peepdown to Easter.
*sigh* I'm going to go drive nails into my skull for a while...
Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 03/31/2006 09:13 PM EST
Did Matt mention the banana flavored King Kong Twinkees yet? I just saw them in the store for the first time tonight.
Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 03/31/2006 09:19 PM EST
....AHHHHHHH I'M GOING GROCERY SHOPPING...RIGHT...NOW.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/31/2006 09:20 PM EST
Ha! Under Matt post! since I'll never be first, gotta settle.
OH YEAH!
Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 03/31/2006 09:32 PM EST
Jessica Marie- Yeah, I hope its not the REAL end of "Firefly" either....it is just TOO GOOD to really be over. What the hell is wrong with people? Why didn't THAT show stay on the air?? Sigh. It bothers me.
Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/31/2006 10:06 PM EST
Haha, oh why didn't they actually name it Ice Age 2: Even Shittier Probably???
And I totally forgot about The Wizard!! Isn't there a scene where the girl yells out "That man touched my breast!" ? And the little kid who keeps whining "Califorrrrrnia..." Ah, it's a classic.
Chestnuts roasted by Lizzy @ 03/31/2006 10:36 PM EST
Is there rum on Skull Island?
Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 03/31/2006 10:48 PM EST
Muppet Baby - if people keep buying the DVDs, they'll have to make another movie, right? RIGHT? *got the shakes*
Seriously though, there's so much fan support...Nathan Fillian...however you spell it, wants there to be a Serenity trilogy. Did you read the Serenity comic? It sort of filled in the gap between the movie and the series. And it was shiny.
Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 03/31/2006 10:55 PM EST
If there isn't rum on Skull island then I'll be changing my vacation plans.
Mystie, that sucks in a big way. Happened to me once, ruined my day. And BTW, am I imagining things, or did you change the domain on your website?
Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 03/31/2006 11:27 PM EST
I read the first 2 issues of the "Serenity" comic, and then I CAN'T FIND THEM ANYWHERE ANYMORE!!
Thankfully, my subscription to "Astonishing XMen" fulfills my Joss Whedon fix ....for NOW.
Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/31/2006 11:29 PM EST
Lizzy:
That is the one and only. We discussed it a little bit towards the end of Matt's last blog entry as well.
I haven't seen either cinematic Savage classic (The Wizard or Little Monsters) since I was about ten, but I seem to remember some bitchin' soundtracks: Road to Nowhere by the Talking Heads? I Got My Mind Set On You by George Harrison? I know the first one and I'm fairly sure of the second one. Classy stuff.
Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/31/2006 11:33 PM EST
Muppet Baby, send me an e-mail. I should be able to help you with the Serenity comics.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 03/31/2006 11:41 PM EST
Crap, I'm an idiot. Forgot to tell you my address. jeff@playervsfish.com
Sorry about the three posts in such quick succession.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 03/31/2006 11:43 PM EST
Speaking of Comic frustration - (Not frustration that is humorous, mind you, but frustration relating to graphic-type novellas.) - I laid out some money a few months ago to purchase the entire run of Voltron comics (plus alternate covers and such). They were pretty good, I have to say. Except, what I didn't know when I bought them was that they ended the run mid-arc. I said unto myself "Self," I said, "surely this cannot be the end. I must have missed one or two issues along the line. Or perhaps this has been continued elsewhere. Or maybe I'm just caught up and I have my dates wrong. Yeah, that's the ticket..." But sadly it was not to be. I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO LANCE!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, I'm better now.
Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 03/31/2006 11:56 PM EST
Jeff- Thanks a lot! I will send you an email soon (and glad to see another SERENITY fan!) Muppet Baby has just had a few beers and is a wee bit too tipsy to send any emails at the moment...
...and the ending of 'Little Monsters', when they played "Road to Nowhere" by Talking Heads is the reason WHY that song is on my road trip mix tape...along with "Send me an Angel" from the hitchhiking scene of 'The Wizard'.
Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 04/01/2006 12:55 AM EST
damn, it's quiet around here!
I just scored not one, but TWO Jones Thanksgiving Soda Regional packs for the low low price of $2.99 each!! I saw them out of the corner of my eye at teh store, and stopped dead in my tracks. I had to get them both, for that price! Crazy!
Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 04/01/2006 04:09 AM EST
I saw Ice Age. I actually liked it better than the first. And, if you're gonna see it for the Simpsons trailer, don't bother. It was there, just so short and nothing to it. There was also a Garfield 2 preview. All I can say about that is, "Why?"
Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 04/01/2006 12:32 PM EST
Are there skulls on Rum Island?
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash vs King Kong vs King Vitamin vs King Ghidra @ 04/01/2006 02:07 PM EST
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Chestnuts roasted by tramadol @ 04/11/2006 07:21 AM EST
