Mr. McPlatypoo (The Duckbill Playpus)
Created & Contributed By: Noah Sam
Noah Sam writes: It was recently brought to the attention of the New York City Chapter of the Mid-Atlantic Region of the North American Natural Scientific Society for the Ethical and Fair Treatment and Depiction of Monotremes that you are conducting a "contest" wherein "contestants" are challenged to combine two genetic species into a fantastical, yet biologically implausible, stuffed and/or animated creature. We at the N.Y.C.C.M.A.R.N.A.N.S.S.E.F.T.D.M. are pleased to inform you that such a wondrous and regal beast actually exists in the animal kingdom. That's right, fauna animalia! The Ornithorhynchus anatinus, or "Duckbill Platypus," is a Tasmanian Monotreme with a duck-like bill (as the name so aptly implies), but the web-like feet and hard, calloused tail of a BEAVER! Or as we tell the kiddies: "It has feet like a duck, but it's furry (copyright Wildlife Treasury)!" We know you may find this hard to swallow, and you may have noticed the slight discrepancy between our adult description and youthful tagline, but we assure you that this biological miracle has in fact been evolutionarily and Judeo-Christianarily proven... more than once.
During the "Wuzzle-Mania" phase of the early-mid 1980's, we at the N.Y.C.C.M.A.R.N.A.N.S.S.E.F.T.D.M. were graciously tolerant of the generally benevolent Disney Company for neglecting to include the Platypi's contribution to the Wuzzle concept. We are grateful for this most opportune opportunity to attempt to restore the forgotten majesty of the fierce and wily platypus.
To really bring our point to home-base, we have enclosed two images: the first is a photograph of a "live" platypus in its "natural" environment. The second is a comical, more playful and saucy rendition of the creature once called "the Bea Arthur of Tasmania."
We hope that you respect the intelligence of your readers enough to inform them of the honest, pleasant, though sometimes emotionally devastating truth of their Wuzzalian misconceptions and misperceptions.
As they say in the Outback, "Monotremes don't have nipples, mate."
Yours amicably,
~the New York City Chapter of the Mid-Atlantic Region of the North American Natural Scientific Society for the Ethical and Fair Treatment and Depiction of Monotremes~
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